How to Build a Strong, Lasting Relationship With Your Nanny

October 22, 2025

How to Build a Strong, Lasting Relationship With Your Nanny

Expert Guidance from TLC for Kids — Supporting St. Louis Families and Nannies for Over 40 Years

A great nanny-family relationship can last for years and become one of the most meaningful partnerships in your household. When communication is open, boundaries are respected, and appreciation flows both ways, everyone — especially your children — thrives.

At TLC for Kids, we’ve matched and supported nannies and families in St. Louis for more than four decades. We’ve seen firsthand what makes these relationships strong, stable, and joyful. Here are the keys to creating a long-term connection with your nanny built on trust, respect, and shared purpose.

1. Communicate Openly and Consistently

The best relationships are built on honest, ongoing communication.

  • Set regular check-ins — weekly or biweekly — to discuss how things are going for both sides.
  • Address concerns early to avoid small frustrations from building up.
  • Share feedback kindly and clearly, and invite your nanny to do the same.

TLC Tip: Families who maintain open communication often have the longest-lasting relationships. At TLC, we encourage a “no surprises” approach — talk often, listen always, and clarify before conflicts arise.

2. Show Respect for Their Professional Role

Your nanny isn’t just “helping out” — they’re a skilled childcare professional.

  • Treat them with the same respect you’d give a trusted teacher or healthcare provider.
  • Ask for their input — they spend the day with your children and often notice things you may not.
  • Provide tools, supplies, and structure so they can do their best work.

TLC Tip: Recognition builds respect. Families who see their nanny as a partner in parenting — not just an employee — develop stronger bonds and better outcomes for their kids.

3. Define and Maintain Healthy Boundaries

Healthy boundaries protect everyone involved.

  • Work hours: Avoid expecting your nanny to stay late or arrive early without discussion or additional pay.
  • Household access: Be clear about what’s private versus shared space.
  • Personal communication: Respect days off — no texts or calls unless it’s urgent.

TLC Tip: Boundaries don’t mean distance — they mean mutual understanding. Clear lines create lasting comfort and trust.

4. Offer Appreciation and Acknowledgment

Feeling valued is one of the strongest motivators for nannies.

  • Say thank you often — a few kind words can mean everything.
  • Celebrate milestones like birthdays, work anniversaries, or holidays.
  • Include them in family moments, when appropriate, so they feel part of the team.

TLC Tip: A simple thank-you note or small token of appreciation can reinforce loyalty and joy in the role. TLC families who make this a habit see higher satisfaction and longevity.

5. Keep Expectations Clear and Fair

Confusion is one of the biggest sources of tension in nanny relationships.

  • Review duties, hours, and pay regularly — don’t assume both sides remember the same details.
  • Update the nanny’s responsibilities if your family’s needs evolve (for example, when children start school).
  • Respect contract terms and give notice for any major changes.

TLC Tip: TLC helps families draft and review contracts that are realistic, fair, and sustainable — reducing misunderstandings and turnover.

6. Support Their Well-Being and Growth

Your nanny gives so much of themselves each day. Show that you care about their well-being too.

  • Encourage breaks and time off — rested caregivers give better care.
  • Offer training or development opportunities, like CPR refreshers or early childhood workshops.
  • Check in about their satisfaction with the role — it builds loyalty and trust.

TLC Tip: Small investments in your nanny’s professional growth can pay off in long-term commitment and outstanding care.

7. Partner With a Trusted Agency for Ongoing Support

Even in strong relationships, questions and transitions can come up — from pay adjustments to schedule changes or backup care. TLC for Kids is always here to help.

  • We provide ongoing placement support to both families and caregivers.
  • We offer backup childcare when your nanny needs time off.
  • We serve as a resource for communication tools, contracts, and long-term relationship management.

With consistency, gratitude, and open dialogue, your nanny-family relationship can evolve into a true partnership that enriches your children’s lives — and brings peace and stability to your home.

TLC for Kids has been helping St. Louis families find and keep exceptional nannies for over 40 years.
 If you’d like help maintaining a strong relationship or need temporary coverage while your nanny takes time off, we’re just a call away.

👉 [Contact TLC for Kids] to learn how we can support your family through every stage of your childcare journey.