How Nannies Can Support Children with LGBTQ+ Parents
As nannies, we become part of a family’s everyday life. We are there for the school runs, snack time, bedtime stories, silly conversations, and sometimes the big questions. When caring for children with LGBTQ+ parents, one of the most meaningful things we can do is make sure they feel proud, comfortable, and secure in their family.
Follow the Family’s Lead
Every family has its own names and language. A child may have two moms, two dads, a nonbinary parent, or another unique family structure. Using the right names is crucial for making everyone feel comfortable. Ask the parents what names and pronouns everyone uses, and then use them naturally and consistently.
You do not need to know all the right words immediately. What matters most is being open, respectful, and willing to learn. If you make a mistake, correct it, apologize briefly, and keep going.
Talk About Families Naturally
Children often ask direct questions—and so do their friends! If a child asks, “Why does she have two moms?” there is no need to make the answer complicated. You can simply say:
“Families come in lots of different ways. She has two moms who love her very much.”
Your relaxed and positive response helps children understand that there is nothing strange or uncomfortable about having LGBTQ+ parents. Maintaining a calm, laid-back attitude makes all the difference.
Protect What Is Private
Some children joined their families through adoption, surrogacy, foster care, or donor conception. These stories belong to the child and their parents. Never share personal details with other children, caregivers, teachers, or families unless the parents have given you permission.
If someone asks a question that feels too personal, you can say, “That is their family’s private story.”
Help Children See Families Like Theirs
Look for books, toys, shows, and activities that include many types of families. These small choices help children see their own family reflected positively. They also teach all children that there is more than one way to be a family. I remember how excited we were to play the game of Life with two dads!
Speak Up When It Matters
If someone says something unkind about the child or their parents, do not expect the child to handle it alone. Calmly say, “We don’t say hurtful things about someone’s family.”
Later, check in with the child and let the parents know what happened. A child should always feel confident that their nanny will support them.
At the heart of it, supporting a child with LGBTQ+ parents is about being the warm, dependable nanny every family hopes to find. Listen, learn, protect the child’s privacy, and show through your everyday actions that their family is loved, respected, and wonderfully complete. TLC Family Care can help you to be connected to families of all kinds. Give us a call!