What LGBTQ+ Parents Should Look for When Interviewing a Nanny

September 15, 2026

Finding the right nanny is about more than experience and availability. You are welcoming someone into your home who will help shape how your child understands family, respect, and belonging. LGBTQ+ parents deserve a caregiver who genuinely respects their family—not someone who is simply willing to tolerate differences.

For our family, this decision felt especially personal. We not looking for someone who simply said they were “fine” with an LGBTQ+ family. We wanted a nanny who would recognize our family as loving, complete, and worthy of the same respect as every other family. Our goal was for our child to feel proud and secure at home—and to know that their nanny would reinforce that sense of belonging wherever they went.

Listen for Respectful, Inclusive Language

Notice how candidates speak about families. Do they naturally use terms such as “parent,” “partner,” or the names your family prefers? A good nanny will ask how each family member should be addressed instead of making assumptions about roles or relationships.

You might ask:

  • “How would you describe our family to our child or other children?”
  • “How would you handle questions about different kinds of families?”
  • “Are you comfortable using the names and pronouns our family prefers?”

I felt happy with a candidate that might not know exactly what we wanted, but felt comfortable asking questions and learned quickly how to make us feel comfortable. 

Look for Shared Values

A nanny does not need to share your family’s background, but they must support your expectations for kindness, inclusion, and respect. Ask how they would respond if another child made an insensitive comment or questioned why your child has two moms, two dads, or another family structure.

For us, it was important to know that our nanny would not become uncomfortable, avoid the conversation, or make our child feel different. We wanted someone who could respond confidently and simply: families may look different, but they are built on love. 

Discuss Representation

Ask whether the nanny is comfortable reading inclusive books, attending community events, and choosing activities that represent different identities and family structures. Inclusion should feel like a natural part of your child’s life—not something acknowledged only during Pride Month.

Value a Willingness to Learn

A candidate may not know every term or have experience working with an LGBTQ+ family. That does not automatically make them the wrong choice. Look for someone who listens, asks thoughtful questions, accepts guidance, and corrects mistakes without becoming defensive.

Ultimately, our goal was someone who would care for our child while honoring the family raising them. The right nanny should help every member of your family feel safe, understood, and valued—both inside your home and out in the world. When we found an amazing nanny, a nanny that fit our family, it made all the difference for our whole family.