Making the Relationship Work with Your Nanny

Making the Relationship Work with Your Nanny

Hiring a nanny isn’t just a business arrangement — it’s a personal, ongoing relationship. A good nanny placement is similar to adding a new member to the family. The best placements happen when families (and the nannies!) invest in communication, structure, and mutual respect. 

Best Practices for a Healthy Relationship:

Share your parenting philosophy and invite your nanny to share theirs. Be open to compromise where possible. Develop a trust that extends beyond just day to day and gives you both the chance to shine. 

One super important priority is communication.  Establish daily check-ins (in person, by text, or with a nanny journal). Discuss not just logistics, but how the children are doing emotionally and developmentally. Ask for short, funny things that happen in addition to larger questions of the day. Make time, even just 5 minutes a day! Communication takes time.

Be clear about what’s included in the nanny role (childcare, laundry) and what’s not (deep cleaning, unrelated errands). Children thrive with routine. Share a daily/weekly schedule that outlines meals, naps, school runs, activities, and quiet time. Giving your family a set of boundaries is important for all. 

Treat your nanny as a valued professional. That means being punctual, paying on time, and honoring agreements. No nanny ever liked having to ask for her pay at the end of the week. Recognize milestones (work anniversaries, birthdays), leave occasional notes of thanks, or provide small bonuses for going above and beyond.

TLC Tip (from 40 years of supporting families and nannies): Think of your nanny as part of your parenting team. Families who hold regular “family meetings” with their nanny — to talk about schedules, discipline strategies, or upcoming changes — are the ones who enjoy stability and long-lasting success. Put the date on the calendar and stick to it!